My trip thus far…..

I have made it safely to my tent camp and per the suggestion of my trusty driver and tour guide (Sandy), I am way at the end of the “street”. It is four o’clock in the morning right now and I have awoken partly from all the cerveza from last night and the Malaria medicine. And….probably the mosquitoes! ( I put up the mosquito net after an entire day of “getting to know Ecuador”…and Pilsner) When the sun comes up, I will make my way to the kitchen where the internet is plentiful. I plan on finding a YouTube video on how to properly put up the net. I’m sure there is a disclaimer that says “drinking all day in the hot sun and then putting up the net to save you from Malaria infected mosquitoes is contraindicated!

I’m grateful that Sandy was the person to pick me up from Guayaquil and transport me to Ayampe. It’s normally a two and a half hour drive but we made it in three and a half. After stopping at the gas station, detours, no cell signal and a less than clean bathroom (thanks mom for the toilet paper, forming hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes) we made it here in one piece. Sandy can speak broken English and I can speak broken Spanish so together we were able to communicate the entire trip. I think I know her entire life story in English and in Spanish, however, my favorite sentence was when she told me “you no what I was expectin, I think I pick up mujer like me”. Guess she thought I would be wearing a bright colored beach dress with long hair. Instead, I show up for transport with 75 lbs of luggage, cargo shorts, t-shirt and a pair of keen sandals..

She introduced me to “el doctoro” who is some big political guy in these parts. He also owns a hotel kind of place. We drank some beer with his family and then he had one of his workers show me around the property. If I ever get married, I want to spend my honeymoon in the marriage suite. I’m sure his place is “mucho carro” but anyone that agrees to marry me should get the best despite any cost. He is distantly related to the author of Don Quiote and he named the place after the author.

Sandy took me all over the town as well as to Porto Lopez after she noticed she needed air in her tires. Woman in Ecuador, even in their 40’s, don’t change tires or put air in them! At the house of “el doctoro” two young men tried to change her tire but gave up after ten minutes of trying to figure out the jack…”Quantos hombres necissito para “change tire”…she thought it was funny!

I’ve met all of David’s cousins in a short time but I’ve spent most of my time with Sandy and Caesar. Caesar tried to sell me his house already, which isn’t such a bad idea. It’s close to the beach and the town and he built the entire house with his own hands…did I mention he is a sculptor/wood carver??? The entire house is filled with beautiful cabinets and a handmade hardwood floor…eat your heart out Home Depot!

After more Pilsner than I could count we headed to dinner at the hotel. I’ve been instructed to make a good impression on the cook. Of course, I’m not sure exactly what the hell I’ve been eating since I got here, I made sure than Sandy knew that “yo soy una hodia” which is Spanish for I am Jewish and “no puedo comeda churletta” (I can’t eat pork chops). I know I had octopussy (haha…octopus in broken English) and fried fish so far. I’ve eaten enough green plantains to begin to grow on a tree and I’ve fallen in love with this hot sauce here, Texas Pete has nothing on this stuff.

I will begin my research after a few days of practicing Spanish on the beach…I know, it’s such a hard life here in Ecuador. I’m in a tent camp within walking distance to the beach and I know where to buy beer.

In the words of Ida Mae with an Ecuadorian twist, “you can get beer when you can’t get a glass of milk”.